This is not the most pleasant post but I need to get it off my chest.
I've suffered from issues with constipation or maybe I guess IBS w/constipation my whole life. My mother said I had a hard little tummy every time I ate and suffered a lot as a baby. This issue seems insurmountable. The only time I can say I've had some sense of normalcy was when I was drinking regularly. Over the past year, I had gotten to a place where I would poop every morning. However, that was probably due to the amount of food I was eating with the alcohol. Also, what came out was usually these air-filled poops that really had no substance. I always felt (and feel) that I'm still stuffed to the gills. It's a debilitating way to live.
Now that I've stopped the nightly drinking and, to some extent, nightly eating (though that's been trying to creep back in - sigh), I've started suffering from severe stomach cramping and discomfort PLUS the constipation.
What I end up doing is eating more than I need to to soothe myself (hence me eating again at night), though it only makes it worse. It's a vicious cycle that I'm tired of running around in.
I give praise to God that Jonathan inherited my dad's and his dad's very efficient digestive system. He eats, he poops. All is good in the world. I actually think the degree to which you are able to eventually empty out on a regular basis has a lot to do with your peace of mind, attitude and well-being. My mother also suffered from IBS issues w/constipation her whole life and she was a mean, unhappy person for most of my life. She only got relief when she was hospitalized in 2000 for close to a month with a bad case of diverticulosis, which required part of her colon to be removed. Apparently she had a particularly twisty colon and removing part of it allowed her to become more regular.
I've had a couple of colonoscopies, and am going in next week for a consult to get another one, along with an endoscopy, to maybe figure out the stomach cramping and to make sure all is good inside. However, the other colonoscopies never revealed that my colon was super twisty. I figure what I have here, along with my persistent issues with weight, and my dream deferred of being a full-time writer and mom, is just another, old-fashioned thorn in my flesh.
But I'm tired of thorns in my flesh. Really, really tired. I'm tired of thorns that stick and aggravate and swell and irritate and just make your life freaking miserable.
I've asked You Lord to pluck them out. However, despite all of his pleading, you never plucked out Paul's thorns. He just lived with them. He learned how to be content whether abased (with the damn thorns) or abounding, He just took it in stride, stretching toward his higher calling in Christ Jesus, our Lord.
I'm no Paul and to be honest, DO NOT aspire to be like Paul. I'm Kim Ivey and guess what? I want the thorns plucked out!
Father, make my digestive system work. Give me regular bowel movements. Empty my gut of all that's clearly in there right now, WITHOUT the use of any artificial substances - by your supernatural power alone. I declare by the stripes of Jesus that my bowels are healed and I empty out EVERY day - not air-filled poops or teensie weensie poops or sticky yucks that take more tissue to clean up then what actually falls in the toilet. I AM REGULAR, EFFICIENT in my daily EMPTYING, and my BOWELS and GUT and STOMACH are HEALTHY! In the mighty name of Jesus, AMEN.
I have more to stay about the full time mom and writer thing and this stupid weight thing for a later time. Right now, I just really want to have a good, healthy shout Hallelujah POOP!!
Thank you Jesus for always hearing me; please heal my doubt when I feel that you don't...